First blog post

I have always wanted to become a blogger but getting to start on with it hasn’t been that easy obviously, and so it took me this long to start but finally here we go. So basically I will be – l’m a personal blogger. I will be sharing my thoughts and experiences on being a female young adult, single, black African,studying and living in an arabic and also Islamic country. In two words Dephia’s musings…

My mind has been exploding with soo much topics I wanted to write about and I just couldn’t settle on one title for the blog but I guess I will find my footing as I go. So if you’re interested to know more about my world “Dephia’s-musings” stay tuned..




Its blogging night yipyyy,…so i was going through some blogs this morning and i came across this Nigerian blogger who posted on some random facts about herself, and as always my mind started on with the rumbling, which is something it has been doing a lot of late…. It got me thinking. …….πŸ€”  
Have you ever noticed how people sometimes pretend like they know each other so well, how it has become so so easy to throw each other into a stereotype which now has become like a trend, or how we’ve all lost that experience or thrill in getting to know each other , other than just throwing around assumptions because of one’s gender, race or social status,or how we have stopped considering the different attributes of every person, or how our assumptions have become common knowledge . 

If you probably thought you were not a stereotype well spoiler alert, sorry to say but you are.. There’s always I mean always a group for everyone.We have gender stereotyping defining what man or women can or cannot do because of thier gender, we also have the racial stereotyping,  for example us black women being known to be well built but also superficial, positives or negatives there are all sorts of stereotypes and sadly it has become like a social suicide just trying to put yourself out there because nobody knows anybody anymore. That good old fashioned getting to know each other is now overrated .There are too many critics and judgemental people shoveling others into piles and more piles of stereotypes…

The lists is just too long but right at the top of my head there are  the blondes ,nerds,geeks,snobs,brats,reserved ones,extremists,slay queens, oww oww and my favorite the yellow bones this one is common within the black community.. People of a lighter complexion are known under this term yellow bones, not a big deal one would say. It would appear so but this also comes with the tags snobby/soft/materialistic /pompous/conceited it goes on and on and on 

OK enough with my ranting but I was  getting somewhere with it..I just wish there would be less of this stereotyping and more of getting to know people for who they are. Nomatter how much of a clichΓ© one could possibly be, give them the benefit of the doubt would you. The world has enough problems already without this social categorization …how about we look at each other as PROTOTYPES  and not STEREOTYPES πŸ€“

So here are 17 random facts about me….

  1. I hate being a stereotype 
  2. I have six piercings on my ears and I’ve always thought of having a nose ring…  I’m way past that one
  3. I know nothing about cars but I can point to you my dream car😁
  4. I’m a shoe size 5
  5. I’ve more ghetto in me than you actually think and I love it
  6. I’m not a fashionist but I do love looking presentable
  7. I would go for some orange juice rather than tea/coffee at any time of the day or in any weather
  8. I feed on optimism 
  9. I define myself as being spiritual and not religious and it’s my spirituality that drives me
  10. I don’t have a sweet tooth 
  11. From time to time I take my frustration onto a piece of paper
  12. I’ve become a fan of confrontation 
  13. Will always pick biology to math
  14. I love break up songs / sad soulful music, they hold so much emotion
  15. Such a sucker for comedy
  16. I grew up thinking I would become a doctor (surgeon) 
  17. I’ve never been on a boat 


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      Quick recap on my 2017 …

      Hey guys, so for this week’s post I decided to make a short detour from the series I’ve been writing about but rather write a little about my year.. 

      Just yesterday I was thinking about all the things that went wrong during the course of my year, the loved ones I lost, the loved ones who got sick, the tears I shed in certain moments for certain reasons and as I was going on and on with this I came across a post which changed my whole perspective on what I was thinking about…

       It reminded me of how easy it is to point out what went wrong other than what went right, how we’re more focused on what we didn’t get and not what we got, what we lost not what we gained, how we’re always on the the negative side of any incident or accident .. Some of my best quotes from this post said,

      • In our daily lives we must see that it’s not happiness that makes us grateful but gratefulness that makes us happy.
      •  There is always, always, always something to be thankful for!!
      • Your current position is somebody’s future expectation. 
      • Your life now is somebody’s prayer request
      • Anything you celebrate multiplies, anything you despise diminishes.
      • Appreciation is the vehicle for acceleration.
      • Gratitude is the lift to great altitude.
      • To see what God will do, you must acknowledge what God has done.

      Stay grateful.

      I remember half way through this post I was thinking of my uncle who passed on earlier on this year and I was asking myself how can I be grateful for losing him, what about my aunt and cousins who have lost a father and a husband, how can I look them in the eyes and tell them to be grateful… And it dawned on me in that moment what I was grateful for…. , I was grateful for knowing him for as much time as I had known him, I was grateful that he had moved on to the next life without the pain he was feeling, I was grateful for the great moments he had had with his family and siblings… and it took me this realisation to be at a better ground with what I thought to be a down fall in my year… 

      So I made a list of what were supposedly some mishaps in my year and this is what am grateful for… 

      • Am grateful that my dad is in a much more healthier lifestyle than he ever was, inspite of the minor heart attack he had 
      • Am grateful for the loved ones who went to be with the Lord and for the new lives, nephews and nieces that took thier places
      • Am grateful for each day that I’ve lived through tummy aches, colds,heart aches, tears and sweat.. It all made me tougher physically and emotionally 
      • Am grateful for the life of my brother in law,, what seemed to be the most traumatising night of my life also turned out to be the most miraculous night. There’s no better gift than life it self 
      • Am grateful for my family, everything we went through individually or as a family made us braver,stronger and much more closer.
      • Am grateful for the long friendship and companionship that I had with my ex, it built the woman I’m today 

      Now, am grateful for the new chapters coming up,  new chapters in love,relationships, friendships,opportunities,adventure,good health,success … Am looking forward to it all….. 

      Stay grateful, your current position is somebody’s future expectation!! 

      #Thotoftheday #staygrateful

      Being a black anglophone in an Arabic country

      Part 2 – the arrival

      What’s up to my SESQUIPEDALALIANS wanna bes like myself oh HA..HA who am I kidding, it’s just not my thing. Why use a $25 word when I can use a $2 word, am not trying to sound wickedly smart to anyone, I don’t have to right,  or should I πŸ€”….. nahhhhhhh, besides I don’t have any fancy expensive words to amuse you with. Keeping you guys intrigued by my stories is soo much work on its own 😌

      So,  you remember when I was telling you “little had I known”.. I thought I knew what I know now but I had not known what to know then  (πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ ohhhhh that was good I felt it myself _goose bumpssss or HORRIPILATION, if you’re one of those people I’ve been talking about #good quote *)….

      OK moving on you should know that not even Mr Google had prepared me for what I was about to step into.. Regardless of Raymond’s attempt to enlighten me on this world I was diving into head first,  I still had no clue at all.. (Raymond, my dear friend who was already studying in Algeria,whose efforts didn’t go unrecognised lol).he tried, but trying to explain to me that in the arabic language you write from the right to the left side of the page,  it was like trying to explain to ambuya Mahere my grandmother how to use snapchat and filters on instagram. It just didn’t make sense at all. I was soo clueless / oblivious/ incognizant / “closed” ( a very very loose use of the word but you should try to understand where am going with this, actually try translating that word “closed” to your native language you will see exactly why I’m using it. In the same context, in my native language shona this word would be “kuvharwa”….. Totally clueless ., I only wished there were manuscripts and slides at airports giving us just a little bit of intel on our final destinations  because , when you’re  stepping into a foreign country you don’t want to be caught off guard.. Trust me on this one, I know what I’m telling you . 

      How “closed” was I??? Listen, the closest I had been to an Arabian man or women was through television and the Internet which sums it all up to nothing because well if I’m to consider movies then what I knew then was that most if not all Arabs are muslims and in movies they are usually if not always the villains. We all know how it’s goes, I’m not fabricating this, if it’s not a Russian man it’s an Arabian . Speaking of religion, I’m a christian and in my country christianity takes a 98% lead (estimating) as to islam, and the closest I had been to the Islamic culture πŸ€” that would be in primary school if that counts.. At my school back then there was this group of muslim kids, and these kids used to fascinate me a lot. Well firstly there was like one or two of them in each grade, all from the same family I believed because they all went home at the same time, if it was a Friday they left school even earlier than the rest of us, pretty unfair for my third grade me. I used to stare at them a lot as they packed themselves up in thier mini van whilst I waited by the car park for my dad who was always always late to pick me up. And also I liked the hijab,I thought it was a cool way to pimp out our school uniform and it came on as a plus for them in winter.πŸ€” I don’t remember seeing them participate in any sports, no swimming, no no extra curriculum activities, nope  nothing that I can remember of .besides in my class we didn’t have any muslim and so there was zero interaction with any of them.. . My fascination to these kids had nothing to do with any interest whatsoever in the actual religion so this puts me right back to “being closed”.
      I think my very first blow was in Cairo when we were in transit. That first heat wave which slapped me as I disembarked the plane did come with a warning triangle but I was too pumped up to care. I was clenched to my excitement and curiosity too much to notice the long distance from the aircraft to the departure gate, but that didn’t last too long because one step into the airport gave me a straight up right handed punch in to my gut.  For a second I could not fathom out what I was seeing… 

      Nobody gave me a memoir on what I was seeing and smelling and hearing… The only thing that caught me from throwing a tantrum at that moment oh wait actually two things was,  1_ I was not the only one getting a slap into reality and 2_ well how much could an airport tell about Arabs, I was still in transit right…. Yes and also No.Once again, little did I know . I remember the whole time my mind was going on and on in a rumble, 

       “ohh owwwkayyyy,  ummm ok umm ummm what on earth is going on here.. Where I’m I, why are all these people staring at me, are we really that black, what are these people saying, does anyone else smell something funny, Daphia keep walking, ok Marshal is saying something listen, I could use a good night sleep right now, I wonder who is going to be my roommate or will I be staying alone, gosh I need a shower,I need to freshen up my breath stinks, umm that sign probably says departure gate but like what Raymond said I should probably read it from right to left πŸ™„πŸ™„ as if I can read it,,, wait where am I by the way, am totally” closed ” !!!! ” 

       as much as my gut was still hurting from that upper cut punch, I didn’t have much time to nurture the pain because before I even had the time to ease into it I was standing at another gate, in Houari Boumediene airport in Algiers, Algeria…..

      Boumediene airport, Algeria 

      Don’t forgot to comment and follow and stay tuned for the next parts.. 

      Being a black anglophone in an arab country…

      Part one

      So before I jump right into it let me start by apologising once and for all to all those literature fanatics obsessed with wordporn, I mean all those big words,to all those logophiles, SESQUIPEDALALIANS -if you know what this word means then yes,I’m talking about you . Am aware that some if not most of my posts will come with some gramatical errors and misspellings but you just have to forgive me because for the last six years I have been focusing more on improving my grammar in french more than English , not that am saying I’m now eloquent in french or anything but it’s been a journey, it’s still is  so. …..let’s just put a blind eye to all those silly “typos”, how about we call them that, “typos”,   and lets just enjoy a simply fun read shall we…..

      So jumpimg right into,I remember it so clearly, that day when all this began . I was in a car with my sister and my brother, driving back home from somewhere well I don’t recall like where we were coming from, when  I received the text which kinda changed the rest of my yet to be told story . it was the text which informed me that  I had officially been accepted for the scholarship I had applied for earlier on to study in Algeria . knowing my siblings soo well I know we were probably screaming in our car , maybe doing a crazy dance while at it but, oh wait was it a text or a call from Mrs Joana…..let’s just say it was a text , who cares the message had arrived and we, mostly “I” was soo happy. I was happy because I soo badly just wanted a change of the environment, the last thing I wanted was to be stuck at UZ that’s university of zimbabwe , doing this longggg program for sooooooooo many many many years so this was the ultimate miracle for me . I believe my parents were happy because well no more school fees for thier last born child yippee . as for my siblings umm Ok they were just happy for me I believe lol.It was a memorable day and moment …you know now that I’m trying to recall and relive that moment I’m starting to feel a bit guilty for all those years I’ve been sulking and throwing tantrums about being  in this place because in that moment that’s all I wanted, being here ( *eye rolling*)

      The next following days, weeks then months were lined up with research and more research which was basically me on Google searching images on this new adventure I was about to embark on.. yes I said months , I think we waited for about three to four months from the time I got “the text” to the time I boarded my flight to Alg .being in my position at this time you could try and image the suspense,excitement,impatience, I was feeling . it all kept on building up and up and I just couldn’t wait anymore to start on  this new chapter of my life without the school matrons,school uniforms , dorms, morning assembles,  if you were at a boarding school you know exactly what am talking about. high school or secondary school as some would call it,was one bitter-sweet course on its own.i was at a mission school so I can tell you that I had my fair portion of boarding life, the real deal. from the nagging matrons,dining hall experiences,freshly cut hair (practically bold headed) beginning of each school term  it goes on and on.what I “mostly” or at times “only” miss about it, is being with the people I called friends every single day 24/7. it was one hack of an experience……but let’s fast forward to the departure gate because this story is about the other part of the world not this one..

      RGM international airport 

      The day finally came, the day I had been anxiously waiting for, that first paragraph to my new chapter,the starting point to the unknown land . at that time nothing really mattered more than boarding that aircraft from our recently renamed RGM international airport , to final destination university . I  could have been  going to Afghanistan for all I care, but little did I know . little did I know (*am really dragging out this last statement* ……..
      Side note , Am going to keep my stories short and simple so stay tuned for the next parts and don’t forget to comment and follow.. 

      A first time..Β 

      You know how we often say that,” we really don’t know what we’re missing until we’ve tried it or experienced it”,well it suddenly just started making sense now except that it’s not always that you’re on the missing side. I mean, you’re really not missing out on a first heart break or a first failure what ever the case could be. In most cases we would rather not experience things at all than be disappointed with the outcome which is ok but… what about that other 50% chance of having an awesome first experience.. Am here thinking, well before all those drastic first experiences rather before it all went wrong just that fraction of a second before it went sideways, it kinda wasn’t bad at all. Would you rather not know or try at all, where’s the fun in that… Life has no take backs or try outs so why not just try it out, go for it, taste it,wear it,jump in,… If it’s a first, well why not… Speaking of first time experiences… 

      I recently tried out sea food for the very first time, am talking about the prawns,mussels/  oysters (not sure which is which) besides they were not really my cup of tea and oh yes the small octopus ohh those things are freakishly delicious, I can say you don’t know what you’re missing on that one.. Thanks to my awesome sister for convincing me to go for it cause I have always been skeptical about trying out sea food one reason being because of my snobby tummy and the other well let’s just say I was not enlightened. I still haven’t tried out crubs and am still building up the courage to try out sushi, just the thought of raw fish in my mouth kinda spoils the whole dish for me…I can say I don’t regret it at all and am looking forward to another ocean basket fiesta with that platter.. If you know where I stay and where I am right now _*hint hint *wink winkπŸ˜‰ 

      Another first, last week I attended my very first court case well not exactly my case but I was in a court house the whole day. I actually have always wanted to be in a court house cause thats where all the drama could ever be right so this was supposed to be fun for me except that I didn’t anticipate that my very first court appearance would be in Algeria and it was in Arabic through out.. Yap In Arabic, at least if it was in French I was going to enjoy the experience a little more I guess but this was as bad as it can get. It’s like watching your favorite comedy movie in Japanese or  some foreign language with no subtitles. Comedy with no punch lines that’s just torture.. I was just there sitting and staring at the judge, case after case longing to get just a little detail on those juicy stories but nothing not even a single word from the ten or less arabic words I actually know the meaning to. But nevertheless something interesting came outof it.. If you didn’t know this arabes are known to have a temper mostly men and to me after hours and hours of this misery and torture nothing was more satisfying than to see these Arabic men silenced and humbled by just one woman. Ohh it was a wonderful site one that I hadn’t seen in all my 6 years in Algeria… Sweet silence… Even the responses sounded more “human” (lack of a better word).I don’t really know what it is about arabic that makes even a normal social conversation sound like a fight, the sounds are loud and harsh no matter what accent you’re hearing it’s crazy and you would think after six years am now used to it but nooooo. OK that’s another post for another day cause I can go on and on about this. 

      Recently I also missed a flight for the very first time.i never miss my flights never. Not a big deal right, No unless you’re the one standing there at an empty check in counter with a ticket in your hand. Weird enough in that moment there’s this strange feeling of lose, like you’ve have just missed the very last flight for good. I don’t know which part is more sad, the fact that you had already said your goodbyes and packed your bags and rushed all the way to the airport for nothing or that you’re going to rebook for another flight.. Whichever it is, I know I had some mixed emotions. I was sad ofcourse because well losing money sucks obviously but that lasted a couple hours because  three more days at home with my family was definitely a better deal

      Anywho, what am trying to say is, don’t be afraid of having a first time. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with experiencing things for the first time cause thats how we learn. Try it out ,taste it, do it, go for it, and if it has already happened, let it breath maybe that’s all it is, a first!!!